Hey Gang,

It's been awhile. So much has happened in the past 9 days. I just got back from Indiana over the weekend. I left on Friday and drove straight through and returned on Tuesday. It was great seeing all the family. The only ones I didn't see was my niece, Caroline and her husband, Darren. It was so last minute, I'm surprised that I got to see as many of them as I did. Betty is doing great, but I think she worries about me, but while I was there 3 people called me from here in Raleigh to see how it was going and how I did driving all that way, so it reinforced what I'd been telling her all along about how much people care and help me here in Raleigh. I think it made it easier on her when it was time for me to go.

Before I left, someone anonymously gave me $200 cash from the church and another lady gave me $100 cash on Thursday night during music practice to help with the expense of the gas driving that far. Everybody's been so sweet and supportive, how could I not feel blessed, inspite of the circumstances. At our business meeting last night at church our budget report showed that I now have $3700 in my account to help with the bill paying. That just blows my mind!!

Today I asked Sheri K. to go with me to this wig place out near Crabtree Valley Mall so that I could get some scarves to wear because my hair has begun coming out. It doesn't bother me that I'm losing it, (welcome to chemo 101), it's more so that I'm constantly shedding all over the place. I called Shannon's friend, Kim, who works with Shannon and has just finished her chemo treatments 2 months ago, and she recommended this place highly. She gave me a lot of other good advice for the future as well. I just love her!! She's so sweet. Maybe someday God can use me to help someone else who finds themselves in a similar situation, who knows?

This place was amazing. The owner, Rose, was so kind and encouraging. I wasn't going to go with a wig, (it's so not me), but her coworker said it best when she pulled me aside and said, " It's nice to feel normal inspite of everything going on around you by just wearing a wig and feeling like your old self when you look in the mirror." I couldn't have said it better myself. I don't mind losing my hair because it will grow back in a very short time. It's just the shedding that bothers me now. Most people just go to their salons and let them shave their head. As strong as people think I am, I'm not sure that I could do that. I'd rather just let it fall out naturally and as long as I have my wig on or my scarves around the house, I probably won't notice the shedding as much. Sheri said she thinks I'm very brave and strong, but I still don't get why people say that. I'm not brave, I just don't have any control over what's happening and I have always lived my life with just dealing with life the way it is. Besides, it's just hair! I'm more concerned about how long I'll be able to keep functioning. Kim yesterday on the phone said she thinks I'll be fine all the way through this trial, because I don't give up on anything and I just keep going. She told me I was a strong person, too. I DO like the wig. We stopped by Barnes and Noble while Shannon was working and she didn't even realize I had a wig on, ( go Mom!), she only knew it was a wig because it has highlights near the bang area and she knew I was losing my hair. She loved it!! Thanks Shannon. You made my day. I'm wearing it tonight for music practice. Sheri's going to be there and she thinks that no one there will know. We'll see. I think she may be right.

Tomorrow is my 2nd chemo and so tonight I need to make up some foods that I can just warm up next week when I don't feel good. I've made the ice tea. I have egg casserole, a couple of cheeseburgers for the freezer, and taco sauce to make after I get home this evening. I still need to vacuum, refill the cat food container, do a little laundry, pull out the sleeper sofa, and load the VCR and DVD players. Some of it I can do tomorrow afternoon after I take my nap. You don't usually feel bad the day of chemo.

I'm hoping that next week I can feel ok by Wed. Wed. night all of our programs start over as well as dinner. I'd hate to miss any of that. Last treatment by Wed. I just felt tired, like I'd had the flu the past couple of days. We'll see. . .

Another thing I did today was go talk to the IRS. The lady that helped me was so nice. It turns out that I only have to pay $65 a month for the next 5 years and then I'll have last years taxes paid off. I might even get money back this year since I'm not working. I talked to the NC tax people last week and I'm paying them $15 a month to pay off last years state taxes. One of their workers called and asked me to call her back, (Gloria was her name), but she left me the wrong phone number and her extension # was wrong too. I called NC State tax people yesterday to try and figure out who I needed to talk to and they pulled up her name and connected me directly so I left a message with her to please give me her number again and her extension as well because her first message was a little garbled and so she called while I was out and asked me to call her back, but surprise, surprise, she left me no numbers! Is this crazy or what?? It shouldn't be that hard. Maybe she'll call next week and I'll talk to her directly. Hopefully she doesn't call on my "bad day".

My life has begun to settle into a pattern. I try and have breakfast or lunch at least once a week with my friends. It gets me out of the house, and keeps them informed. It seems strange not working. I've worked my whole life. My sister doesn't feel like working anymore and she had the opportunity to stay on unemployment for 6 months but she chose to go back to work taking a job with a substantial pay decrease but she at least has benefits. She said she thinks she's just burned out on working all the time. I told her I would gladly trade places with her. I think it put life into perspective for her.

Kim is really struggling with my sickness. I'm sure if the roles were reversed, I'd feel the same way. It can't be easy knowing your sister is going through so much and being so far away that you feel totally helpless for them. She sent me a check for $117 and that's what I used today to purchase my wig. The total was $140 with a 15% discount because of medical reasons. Thanks Sis for the love. I should take a picture so she can see how good I look! Maybe I will.

Well that's about all the new stuff I have to tell. I'll let you know how this next round of chemo goes. Hope this blog keeps everyone informed.