WHAT ARE THEY THINKING??

Yesterday, I went to go and renew my driver's license. I had gotten a notice about the renewal of my license in Oct. They informed me that I needed to get it renewed early because they were no longer giving you your license that day, but rather I would be receiving it in the mail about 20 days later. Are they kidding? You're putting my ID in the mail?? Does that seem safe to them??

I went to the DMV yesterday and I didn't have a long wait at all. I picked up one of the review sheets on the signs and was looking it over while I waited to be called. It's probably a good thing that I did this because with my "chemo brain", it's easy to get things confused. I noticed yesterday when I was trying to read the signs back to the lady, my brain was saying one thing, but my mouth was saying something else. She DID pass me, but I DID struggle trying to get my brain and mouth to cooperate. She was very patient, I'll give her that.

Now. . .those of you who know me, know that I wear glasses. I've worn glasses since I was 8 years old. I've had my picture taken for years through the DMV and I of course, have a restriciton on my license that says that I have to wear my glasses or contacts,(I don't wear contacts), when I'm driving. No problem!! This was the first time that I've been asked to remove my glasses. WHAT?? I told the man that I wear them all the time, but he said they were creating a "glare" and that he needed me to take them off. Does he not know how to take a picture? So. . . now I have a new drivers license that will last for 8 years, I'm not wearing glasses, and it's possible that my wig may not look anything like my real hair when it finishes coming in! I guess if I have to show my photo ID, I'll have to say, "yes, that's me. Wait, I'll take my glasses off so that you can really tell it's me." How stupid has our government become?? My ID doesn't look like me at all. It's a very close-up picture. I'm pretty sure that if you look closely, you might be able to see a few nose hairs if I had any left. Give me a break!!

Well . . .that was my day yesterday. I guess the only good thing that I can day about the DMV thing is that they haven't switched over to mailing out the licenses yet, so I did get mine yesterday. I wonder what today will bring. I'm off to work this a.m. and then home for a nap, then tutoring. . .etc. It's Wednesday, need I say more?

life settles down eventually. . .

Wow, to say that I survived 2008 is an understatement. What a year!! I thought losing my Dad in January was the hardest thing that I'd have to face in 2008 but in June, being diagnosed with ovarian cancer that had spread to other parts, was devastating!! It turned my whole world upside down and I'm still trying to recover in 2009. The oncologist said that it would be June of 2009 before I'd feel normal again. We'll see. . .

I started this year feeling worse than I felt during my chemo treatments and not understanding why. My neighbor, Allison, talked to me last weekend and put everything into perspective for me and everything that she said made sense. She said that I felt good during the treatments because of the steroids that they kept pumping through me. The problem is, that when I get tired, I don't have the steroids to "rebuild" my body. My body has to do all the work itself and if I don't get enough rest or push myself too hard, there's nothing for my body to "rebuild" with. Now when I get exhausted during the day, all I can do is stop and rest. I don't have any other choices. My body won't keep going. I either get a headache or I get nauseous when I overdue, but if I stop and lay down, within the hour, I feel fine and then I can continue with what I was doing. This is so hard for me to deal with. I've never felt tired my whole entire life. Even during the treatments, it was only on the 3rd and 4th day after the treatments that I laid around. After that, I felt fine and just waited for the next round. Now. . .everyday is a challenge. I'm able to work in the a.m. but it's a given that I need to nap before I try and do anything else that day. Hopefully, with time, this will get better. I'm sure it will. The oncologist is surprised that I've gone back to work at all, but working in the a.m. is fine, I really need to try and get back some normalcy to my life, and this is one way of doing that. Not to mention, I need the the income to stay afloat.

What am I looking forward to in 2009? More time with the girls and Nick. . .work settling down to normal. . .maybe even doing something different or maybe in a different capacity. . .time spent in Indiana with family. . .time spent with friends. . .maybe finding out that I'm to be a grandmother soon. . .not feeling tired. . .all my hair growing back(it's growing but I've a long way to go.) Right now it looks like Demi Moore did in "GI Jane". That's how short it is. It's only been growing for 2 weeks now and I actually had to shave the other day, so . . .here's to the future. . .being able to help others as much as they helped me in 2008. . .bringing more people to Christ and sharing with them what a difference He can make in their life. . .being able to help other people who are struggling with cancer . . .allowing God to use last year for His glory!