movie was ok. . .

I went to movies last night with the girls. The movie was ok but not worth $7.75. I already knew the story line so that part wasn't a surprise to me. The part that bothers me the most is that I don't understand why they used such "older" people in this movie when it would have been better to use younger people. In the movie, Meryl Streep, the mom is 17 when she . . .
(movie's lingo not mine), and then her daughter is 20, which would make the mom only 37, but Meryl Streep is over 50, so is Pierce Brosnon. To see these older people jumping around and trying to do a musical was weird to say the least. Only the 20 year old daughter could really sing. The others were ok, but not quality musical voices. I can see why the younger generation would like the music. It's music that was made big in the 70"s-80"s and that music wasn't too bad. And why is it that every movie made now has to have a gay person represented in it? It had nothing to do with the movie's story line and it wasn't necessary. It would be different if it related to the story, but as usual it didn't.

I thought it would be fun to spend time with the girls. It was ok, but it would be nice if they actually talked to me. When we were walking to the car afterwards, I thought of the fact if my mom and I would have ever seen a movie together. Probably not, but if the girls ask me out, they could at least include me in their conversation. It's almost always like that. I feel like the third wheel, whenever we're together lately. I definitely don't fit in. I'm not really sure why they ask me go with them. Neither of them talk to me. They talk to each other during the movie, but I'm never included. It kind of hurts my feelings, but it is what it is. Maybe I should just stay away.

I'm concerned about Katie. I get it that she's married now and that she talks to Nick and so she doesn't need to talk to me anymore, but she doesn't talk to me at all. It's like she's pulled her heart out where I'm concerned because she's afraid that in the end, she'll get hurt. It's easier to pull out now, that way if in the end I die, she doesn't get hurt as much. What she doesn't realize is that this may be the only time we have left and I'm worried that if I don't make it, then she'll spend the rest of her life with regrets for the time we've wasted. I can't make any guarantees that this won't end badly, but I wish we could reconnect today. We were always so close, but now I feel like we have nothing between us. I tried to get together with her over the week of the 4th of July but she doesn't return my calls and makes no attempts to get together for lunch or anything. I can't force a relationship with her. I made every attempt that I possibly can. It breaks my heart as the mom, but I don't know what else to do. I can't try anymore. There's nothing I wouldn't do for her, but I don't know how to reach her anymore. Maybe I'm blowing this all out of proportion, but I don't think so. There's definitely something going on, but I'm not sure what. I wish she'd just talk to me or email me or just communicate how she feels about all this stuff.

We're on for the picture on Thursday. I wanted to just wear blue jeans and then coordinate the tops with everyone, but jeans are out. We're wearing khaki colored bottoms, and pink or blue tops. I have khaki capris, but I can't wear them because they have embroidered flowers on them, and they have to be plain, so I'm wearing my khaki linen skirt. We're supposed to wear tops with sleeves, but it's summer and I don't really have sleeved tops. I wear camis with blouses over the top like a jacket look. The top has to be a solid color as well. I have a pink capped sleeve top, but it doesn't really look good with the skirt. I think it's too casual. Maybe I should ask Shannon or Katie to come over and help me pick out my outfit. I'm a little nervous about having my picture taken. It's not really my thing, but I really want a picture of all the girls, so here goes. . .

Well, I have a birthday dinner to go to for a friend. It's her 40th and there's about 35 people meeting for dinner to celebrate with her and going back to her place for dessert. It should be fun and she deserves to be loved. More another day. . .