just when you think things will begin happening. . .

I called Rex Cancer Treatment Center on Monday to see if I could continue taking the herbal stuff I've starting taking to correct my bowels, and I thought I was starting chemo this Wed., but no, I'm TOURING the center today. I'm meeting with my Dr. there and they're explaining to me all about their center and what they have to offer. Don't get me wrong, I understand the need for today but did I really have to wait two weeks before I could do this today?

The good part is that I'm spending the day with Robin. We hardly ever get to see each other so this is a real treat for both of us. We're meeting early for some shopping and then eating lunch there at Crabtree. I have to be at Rex at 12:30 for my appt. but I'm scheduled for 1 with the Dr. herself. Hopefully we'll have a date today for the first chemo and not having them tell me they need to run more tests before we can get started. We'll see what the day brings. . .

I've cut out tomatoes from my diet and it seems to helping the bowel situation. My body never seems to behave like it's supposed to. I'm supposed to be constipated from the surgery, but that definitely is not the problem. I can't eat fruit anymore or beans, so I'm trying to eat as much bulking stuff that I can. Lots of cheese, peanut butter, bananas, bland foods in general.

I went to the Mexican restaurant with my new Sunday School class, but I only ordered a beef quesadilla and rice on the side. I only ate 1/4 of the rice and all the quesadilla and so far, so good. Today I'm eating at Hectors, so I should be ok.

The financial stuff is finally coming together. It's nice not having the credit card people calling everyday and the church has been great helping me pay the bills. I should get my first disability check today or Sat. at the latest. Then a week later get another one for August. Works for me!! It's not much, but I haven't had a paycheck since the end of May, so I'm excited.

Depending on when they schedule my first chemo, I may be going home to Indiana next week. I won't go if they schedule me for next week to start, but if it's two weeks from now, I'm going. I probably won't leave until Monday so I don't have to deal with weekend traffic and stay until Saturday. I know people think I'm crazy for even thinking of driving that far, but I feel like my old self again. Sitting here day after day, eating out with friends here and there, is not enough for me. Besides, my family needs to see me. Plus the way I look at it, if Rex is taking this long to start chemo(it's been 8 weeks since my surgery), then they don't seem to be too worried about the cancer.

It's funny how people look at me and the comments they make about how strong a person I am and how I just keep plugging along. I find that funny! Let's see. . .I had surgery 2 months ago now, and why wouldn't I be feeling like myself by now? I don't see the big deal. I'm not doing anything "superhuman", it's just been long enough for my recovery. No big deal, really!! I'm afraid that's what my family in Indiana is thinking too. That's why I need to go back if possible. Then they'll see that I'm really my old self now and that I'm not putting up this brave front.

With starting chemo, I know I won't see them over the holidays and once I start I'll probably be too tired to make the trip. That means it will be next spring or summer before they can see me again, and that's too long. So here's hoping they don't start chemo for another two weeks. Of course saying that, we all know they'll start chemo next week. That's usually how life works, don't you agree?

Well shopping is calling my name along with a lot of other things, so that's all for now.