4th one's different. . .

Wow!! The 4th chemo treatment really kicked my butt this time!! Of course it could have been because I had way too much on my platter the day before and the weekend of my treatment. It just really couldn't be helped this time.

Robin called me and had asked if I wanted to come and help with her daughter, Ari's birthday party on Thursday afternoon from 3:30-5:30. She had helped me with both of my girls parties when they were younger and I really wanted to be there so. . .I tried to get as much stuff done in preparation for my treatment on Friday as I could, before I left for Robin's, but. . .

I loved being at the party, helping out, etc. She had invited 23 girls and they were pretty good for that number of girls in one place. We played games, made a craft, ate cake and snacks, it was fun! I had to leave at 5:45 because I was meeting another friend, Nancy for dinner at Taco Bell at 6:15. Impromptu(the contemporary music team that I sing with), was having practice from 7-9. We had just enough time to grab a quick bite and then off to practice. We practiced until 9:30 then I had gotten a phone call from Shelly(a G.A. leader), asking if I could possibly bake some cookies for the sleepover Friday night. What could I say?? I hadn't hardly helped with the sleepover at all, so . . . I ran by the store, went home baked two pans of brownies(needed for Operation Sharing Hope, I'll explain later), baked 3 dozen cookies, finished the laundry, fixed the furniture for the following week, browned hamburger to use for spaghetti and tacos later in the week, and fell into bed at 1 a.m.

Robin and I got our wires crossed somewhere and so I ended up driving myself to Rex Cancer Treatment Center and then driving home afterwards, which by the way is a no-no. She stayed with me all day during treatment, but she needed to take her kids to school and pick them up afterwards. My treatment went fine and I even had a nurse who was so good, she "piggy-backed" the chemo drugs with the IV fluids and I got out of there in record time. That's good and bad. Good that I'd have time to rest at home before doing everything else, but bad because I didn't have enough hours there at the center for the drugs to wear off a little bit. Robin didn't think I should drive home, but I felt fine. I WAS fine, but apparently a little drugged. I got home, took a nap for 1 1/2 hours and then got busy. I know, you should always rest the day of your treatment but it just wasn't to be this time.

You see twice a year our little girls from Wed, night have a sleepover that carries over into Saturday a.m. for a church wide project that day. This time we had the sleepover and the Operation Sharing Hope on Saturday. We had 14 girls spend the night and two moms and two leaders. One team on Saturday was going to deliver baked goods to our policemen and firemen so we needed to bake lots of goodies. We baked cookies,(that's why I baked cookies the night before. You can't bake hot chocolate chip cookies and then tell the girls that they can't eat any of them, so I baked cookies for them to eat while we were baking the other ones). We made bags of popcorn, rice krispie treats, chex mix, and the brownies I had made the night before. The girls had a ball! We watched a movie until 1a.m. like we usually do and then it was lights out. All the girls went to sleep but one little girl had a bad cough and was talking in her sleep and coughing so one of the moms and asked me to get up and check on her. She was sound asleep and I just rolled her over, the problem was that the steroids I take with my treatment cause you not to be able to sleep, so I was awake from 4-5:30 and had to get up at 6:30. Not good!!

Our job with the girls was to visit the shut-ins so I took an adult and three little girls and visited the shut-ins in Wake Forest and then came back to Raleigh and visited two home bound members. It was nice!! The older people love seeing the little ones!

I got home about 1:30 and crashed on the sleeper sofa. The steroids were still keeping me awake, so I only slept an hour and then I was wide awake. I watched the Notre Dame game and then fixed some meals for this week in case I was too tired.

I went to bed at 10:30 but woke up at 2:30 and couldn't go back to sleep until 5:30 and had to be up by 6:45 at the latest because I had to be ready to sing in front of a microphone at 7:30. While I was awake at 5, I took a shower, ate breakfast, vacuumed the living room, ironed, (you see where I'm going, right?). The steroids make you so hyper that it's hard for you to slow down and sleep. That's why they prescribe Ativan. Now. . .if only I could remember to take it at night. . . by time Sunday a.m. at church had finished, I was exhausted!! I came home and crashed, still couldn't sleep, went back out to Bible Study at 5:30 and then came home and was in bed at 9.

One thing that I did do right this time was to drink lots of water. The doctor thinks that that's why I was so dizzy the last time. I didn't flush my kidneys out after the chemo like I was supposed to. She's probably right. I DID drink lots of fluids but not enough water. This time I made sure I drank the water and I wasn't dizzy at all.

I survived the weekend barely, ( I knew it was going to be busy but I didn't see a way around it). I wouldn't have changed anything, but maybe if I'd taken the Ativan when I got home Saturday night, Sunday would have been a little easier to cope with.

Monday my body ached all over. I took a friend with me out to run a few errands but after the first one, I gave up. I didn't have the stamina to keep going. I crashed on the couch the rest of the day.

Tuesday, I tried the errands again, and got them done. I even made it out to dinner with my S.S. class that evening, but boy, was I exhausted!! I stopped taking the Ibuprofen on Monday and found that I could stand in the shower or soak in the tub to relieve my aching muscles. So I "pruned" myself most of the day.

Wed, (yesterday), wasn't too bad. I stayed home and "veggied" most of the day. I DID help with tutoring, ate dinner at church, worked with G.A.'s, and even squeezed in choir last night, but again, I was exhausted by time I got home. I went right to bed. Today I'm achy but feel pretty good. I'm staying in today and relaxing. I have Impromptu practice tonight, but that's all for the day. I was able to put everything away yesterday, washed up the extra bedding from the sleeper sofa, read, caught up on things I had recorded, and got a couple of naps in. Today, I'm not planning on doing anything. Just chilling. . .

In spite of the fact that I way over did this time, I love the fact that I had little side effects from the chemo. The effects of chemo are accumulative so each treatment should have more side effects and yet, this time wasn't so bad. I was just tired from lack of sleep. Oh yes, and by the way, I have remembered to take the Ativan every night since Sunday night, so I'm catching up on all the sleep I've lost.

I still haven't lost anymore hair, I still have the little wisps hanging on. I guess they're planning on sticking around. Tomorrow a.m. I have another appt. with Dr. Soper my OB/GYN who did all the surgery and got me back on my feet again. It's just a visit so he can check and see how I'm doing with the chemo. He'll be pleased. I've gained(yes gained), 10lbs. The steroids cause you to eat everything in sight, and since food still taste like it's supposed to, bring it on!! I'm always hungry and carbs are loaded with protein, so it's what I'm supposed to be eating right now, if we could only cut out some of the calories with those carbs. Oh well. . .I'm not worried about my weight right now. I'll take some weight off after we get to the finish line. Right now, it's probably a good idea to have the extra than to be too thin. I've lost so much weight throughout all of this, that I can wear clothes that I hadn't been able to wear for the past 3 years. I feel great overall and I just need to be patient as I wait to get my stamina back. That 's probably the hardest thing that I struggle with. I've always had lots of energy and been able to do whatever I want to, but this is different. Sometimes the energy level just isn't there.

When I stop and think about the weekend, it's amazing that I feel as good as I do. Yes, my muscles ache, but I DIDN'T get nauseous, no dizziness, no having to cancel plans, God carried me through!! I have two more treatments to go and I have no plans after those treatments like I did this time, it's just what was. People are still amazed at all that I'm able to keep doing, and to be honest, I'm amazed sometimes too! I have some days after treatment when I just need to lay around and rest. If I rest, life is easier, if I don't(like this time), then I ache longer and it takes a little bit longer to recoup. I'm learning. . .