another day. . .

Hey Visitors to my blog,
I've never written a blog before, but I'm game. Christmas was great this year. Loved visiting the kids early in the a.m. and then curling up and watching "White Christmas". It's a Morgan tradition to watch that movie on Christmas day. It's funny how the girls haven't wanted to carry on the traditons but even though I'm not really in the Morgan family anymore, it's so much a part of who I am. I have to have lasagna on Christmas Eve or it doesn't feel right. The recipe makes enough for 12-15 people, but I just bake it and share it with everyone I love who's nearby.
I got a lot of neat stuff this year. I got the Mark Schultz CD that I've wanted for a couple years now, from Shannon. Haven't had time to even open it up yet, but today's the day. Katie did a great job of picking clothes from New York and Co. for me. She always got me great books to read at night. Now if I can only find time to read them all. Both girls got me Tuesdays with Morrie because they know that I'm in the process of having to let go of my Dad in the next couple of years. He's been diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer and only has 2 yrs. to live.
The news at first was almost unbearable to hear, but it's gotten easier to work with. Sometimes it's harder to deal with because the girls never ask about their grandpa and I realized the other day that the saddest part for me in all of this is that they'll never really know who he is. But even if he lived another 10 years, they still wouldn't know who he is. They never took the opportunity to get to know any of their grandparents. They were probably closer to their grandma Morgan, but they don't even keep in contact with her.
My Dad is so special! He's one of the most selfless persons you'll ever meet. He never worries about himself, but he's always concerned about everyone else. He's always been there for me and he's always been my shoulder to cry on. He hugs me like no one else ever will and his love is completely unconditional. He never judges anyone.
The girls will remember him only as the grandpa who smoked all the time and who read Calvin and Hobbes to them when they were little, and maybe they'll remember him as the grandpa who played with his false teeth a lot, but he's so much more. Will Katie remember what effort it took for Dad and Betty to come all this way to her wedding because they wanted her day to be special? Will either one of them want pictures of their grandparents some day or are times different now and things like that aren't important anymore?
I titled my blog "Life can be rough. . .because it can be. My life hasn't turned out to be anything like I thought it would. I never dreamed I'd even leave Indiana ever. I thought I'd marry a farm boy, have lots of kids, and work my ass off. I didn't do any of that. Instead I married the first guy who I considered to be my best friend and the only guy I could say "I love you" to. It lasted a whole 12 years before everything fell apart. I raised 2 beautiful girls alone in Raleigh with no family nearby to help out, and now their finally on their own and I couldn't be more proud of them. Katie married Nick who I couldn't have picked out a better husband for her. He loves her and treats her well and they enjoy each other's company. Shannon is going to college and still trying to figure out who she is and what she desires for her life. She works hard and is still so much fun to be around. I love getting together with her and just doing whatever. She's good company. Katie and I don't spend as much time together as I'd like, but I understand. I don't know how she does all that she does. She works, goes to school, and is a great wife to Nick. She's changed so much in the past couple of years, that I've lost track of who she is and I"d love to get to know her again.
Life can be rough, but life can be fun too. I love my job, I love spending time with the kids at church and teaching them about Jesus and missions, I love singing in impromptu and with the choir, I love living where I do and I love all the friends that God has blessed me with. I have no complaints. I wouldn't be who I am today if life wasn't rough sometimes. It's the hard times that create your character and make you more compassionate with others. I love my girls more that my own life and the only struggles I have now if trying to figure out where my next step is going. What am I supposed to be doing now that I've raised the girls? What else does God have for me?
More another day. . .